Panic Situation

Keira told me that it would be a good idea to saw off my own head. She told me that she, herself, did it all the time, and that it took about six months to fully grow back. She said 'You can just wear a big hat and big sunglasses. I do it all the time. You'll look weird, you won't look like a normal person...I mean, you'll have no head! But it's the thing to do. And it's what I do'. She was so persuasive, and made it sound like such a good idea, that I took a saw and sawed around my neck, so that at the slightest nudge, my head would have toppled right off. Then, suddenly, a thought occured to me: 'If I have no head for six months, then I'll have no eyes, and that would make me blind for a while, which I'm not used to, and really don't want to be! Also, without a head, I'll have no brain ! Shit!' This was a real panic situation. I had suddenly decided that it was definitely a BAD idea to have no head, but I'd already almost-completely sawed my head off. If I'd have moved without holding my head on, or slightly pushed, my head would've tumbled off. But I found a big pot of cream that would help. It was a thick, clay-like paste, and I frantically grabbed handfuls of it, and blunderingly rubbed them into my bloody, severed neck, in a desperate attempt to keep my head.

Beep

Boyfriend: I'm going out now. If you hear a beep, don't worry, it'll the be the smoke alarm. I can't get it to stop beeping. I put it in the cellar so it shouldn't bother you, but if you do hear it, don't be alarmed. Excuse the pun.
Girlfriend: Okay, no problem, have a lovely time. I'll see you when you get back.
(They kiss, grudgingly)
(Boyfriend strides away and the door slams shut)
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (Already?) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (It's really loud considering it's down in the cellar) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (Hell, it's getting really annoying now) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE (Right that's it, I'm going down there) P BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (Girlfriend slowly descends the dark, stinking stairs, reaches the night black cellar, clumsily gropes for the switch, and eventually relieves the suspense by allowing light to flood the dank room)
Little girl in the cellar: Beep Beep (grinning horribly) Beep Beep (now laughing powerfully) BEEP BEEP

Disturbing future

Mum is old and can't speak English anymore. Everyone is saddened by her affliction, everyone feels sorry for her. She has, unfortunately, developed strange and horrific lumps along her ankle. They may be painful or dangerous, poor her. Everyone examines them and look sympathetically at one another. I, myself, cautiously step forward and take a close inspection. These are no ordinary lumps. No, these are difinitely new toes forming, bulbous and protuding in five, with toenails and everything. Has noone else noticed that Mum is growing an extra foot? This shocks me to the point that I feel compelled, yet terrified, to check my own ankle. To my absolute repulsion, the smallest of lumps have begun to form in a small row. No! I roll up my jean to see something even more sickening..... seven long toes emerging from beneath the surface of my knee. Now nothing can conceal this abnormality and there is no escape or going back. This is it now.

Waking up in Phnom Penh

A beautiful lady standing absolutely still in a glass box, staring at the bustling chaos of the city from her frozen stance. Ten people dressed as bees riding on motos. Young girls that wear a different colour every day, based on the days of the week.

Noodles

Banal office space.
I stare at a bowl of rubber bands until they are noodles.

Karaoke dream

We frequented a karaoke bar and got blind drunk. They also showed films at the same place. The guy working there was a tiny man, a dwarf who was also disabled in the fact that he had small wheels instaed of hands. He was, incidentally, somewhat of a film buff.
One day, we went there, just he two of us.
Our clever friend said 'I prophesise that your friend, you know the one, will die.'
We fell about laughing it off. 'If she's going to die, what will she die of then?'
He looked at us as if we were idiots. 'What's the matter with you two? Were you both born with big 'S's on your heads or something?'
'You don't mean?' I suddenly freeze in stark realisation of what he is talking about.
He grins in cold knowingness.